#there were just so many people who straight up refused to accept that they weren't supposed to look white

[leaf-line]

Hello! Can i request some Yandere robin/Kafka and Himeko (seperate) x Gn reader, romantic hcs, please?

𝐒𝐡𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐲

Yandere! Robin/Kafka/Himeko x Gn! Reader

❏ You weren't staying away from them because you were 'shy', you have a perfectly good reason to.

cw: ooc, general yandere content.

w/c: 1,557

You were happy with what you have, you were happy with the many people around you, but you liked Robin too.

She was irreplaceable, along with all of the people you love. You cared about everyone.

Robin liked you too! She liked the way you told her not to push herself much and to not pressure herself, the way you were all worried and caring for Robin.

She relishes on your affection for her greatly, no matter how small or big it is, Robin would indulge in your attention.

Even if you give her the smallest affection, then the largest to somebody else, she's... she's... She's fine by it. Totally.

But later, you were suddenly down, refusing to pay attention to her, or anything for the matter, even yourself.

Thus... Robin thinks you need saving.

No, no, why won't you smile like you used to? Did something so bad happen?

Robin is appalled by the way you just won't help yourself or push yourself for the better and move on? Isn't that what you told her to do? Why are you opting to be a flesh rotting in your bed and not getting out of your shell?

She had problems too, she too were hard on herself when her mom died, but she used those experiences to get up and push further, why can't you do the same?

She thought that maybe it was her turn to give her full affection and attention to you instead. In a way to pay you back, yet... You won't allow her.

Robin is just concerned. Why won't you let her pamper you?

Why won't you let her sing songs to you?

Why won't you let her visit you?

How could you even refuse such an angel who's willing to drag you up when you're down?

Maybe you're shy. Perhaps she's way too overbearing for your mental capacity to accept her payback. She's sweet, empathetic, and extremely kind to you, especially you.

Why else would you avoid her other than the reason that you're flustered by her appearance? It's because of that, and that's the only reason.

"Oh... My love... Is there any other reason why you're avoiding me other than you think I'll over shine you? Don't worry, I won't do that. You deserve your own spotlight! I'll look at it, only me... I love you, alright?"

She says, clinging on your waist, holding it down enough for you to be thoroughly uncomfortable inside. She would then brush your hair with her hand as if you were a delicate being she needed to protect from danger.

Even after you have tried to escape her countless times, she still has you in her arms, begging for your attention every second, every minute, every hour. It's scary to know that with the snap of her fingers, all of her devoted fans would turn their heads at you, ready to strike with their pitch forks and torches for not accepting such an angel in your life.

Though... Has she ever stopped and thought that maybe, just maybe, the reason for you avoiding her was because you just figured out that she's the reason that the people you've recently been talking to disappear out of thin air? Even the ones you treasured and cared for?

You didn't find any animal fact that said birds are ruthless when they are jealous. You learned it the hard way.

Robin didn't even give you enough time to grieve for them before clinging on to you now that her 'obstacles' are gone.

She hums a melody. It's as if to comfort you from your loss, it feels mocking.

You found a lady so breathtakingly beautiful it captured your full attention.

You then would ask for her number, maybe start a small chat, heck, even standing next to such beauty would be enough.

If you found Kafka beautiful, then she finds you adorable.

She's curious as to why you would willingly march straight into danger, clueless and unarmed. She might as well give it a shot and try to get to know you better.

This isn't a part of the script. Plus, she finds your face and mentality cute. Is there really no way you don't know anything about her?

Perhaps you don't read the news or you haven't seen her wanted posters in all its glory. Perhaps you knew and are just dipping your hand in with hidden intent. Perhaps you're just dumb. Either way, she'll know soon enough.

Rather than subtly forcing you to outright say who you are, Kafka played the slow—yet fun—game.

You went from conversing, to going on dates, to walking together in the sunset.

And not once has she seen you feel threatened around her, or even show a hint of your plans to capture her. Every last bit of you was adorable as she thought. That surprises her for a bit. However, not for long.

"This gift is handmade, my efforts and results. Accept it, dear." People's fun has to end one way or another

Her voice makes your ears ring, it gives you a headache. As much you want to cover your ears and muffle her sickly sweet voice, you can't. Your hand is trembling. It is too heavy to move, and you already feel bile rising up on your throat.

It was going well. Now you're asking yourself why we're you sitting on the ground, bathing in a puddle of blood.

Huh...? She told you in one of your dates she was going to gift you a big surprise, you weren't expecting a surprise that makes you fall on your knees at the sight in a different way.

Why... Why is this happening?

You get up on your feet and run away as fast as you can, just anyhow to get away from her.

"Don't try to back out now... You're hurting my feelings." Her footsteps were slow, loud, impending.

Tap, tap, tap, tap—

"You wanted to get to know me too, didn't you? Are you not liking what you see? Are you not liking the real me?" She tries to convince you.

Tap, tap, tap—

"Come on, don't be shy, I don't bite, I promise, come out now. You can't hide forever, can you?" She hums, as if to harmonize it with her footsteps.

Tap.

"Found you."

Don't just walk straight into the cobwebs and try to leave so quickly, for the more you struggle to escape, the more you get tangled and stuck in it.

Himeko wanted you join her, to board the Astral Express, telling you all sorts of stuffs about how amazing it would be to travel all across the cosmos.

You were there to support her from the start, she wished the same for the end.

You admired her ambitions and pushed her up to reach it. Himeko wanted you to be with her when she does so.

Himeko loved you dearly, the way you would encourage her on her adventures, the way you'd still swallow the last drop of coffee she made for you even though it's hard to swallow, the way you would hold her hand and tell directly that things will go the way she would want it.

She loved the way you can easily melt her heart with those genuine words and touch.

But when you declined and said that you will only be there to watch her fulfill her dreams. It was difficult to take in, but she wasn't able to press further.

And so she conducts the train without you. Only occasionally visiting your home world, then to leave, for there's more other pressing matters.

But the more she embarks, the more she learns and develop her own mindset.

For Himeko, trailblazing follows an unspoken set of steps to commit. Board the train, build immovable and precious memories, then disembark.

In other words, leave. It's difficult, but Himeko's determination perseveres, no matter how many of her short time companions leave her, she will still traverse the stars.

Himeko is the conductor, the train needs her to move.

But she needs you to move. Right now, she needs to hear your voice, your way of lightening up her day with little to no effort. So things will be alright with her. No matter how lonely it gets, no matter how much difficult it is to preserve these memories, she can still retell those adventures with you.

"Isn't that right? [Name]?" She puts her cup of coffee, gazing at the coffee table, then takes a moment to admire the scenery of the window, showing the stars of the universe at full display along with the planet close enough to visualize, then you.

The couch you were sitting on were the same as where Himeko sits. You felt compelled to move away from her, yet she will only move closer. "Don't be shy, it's just the two of us here. The others are away." She gestures at the window. "If you're worried about PomPom, they're in a different room."

She holds your hand tightly, things will go the way she would want it, not the way you would want.

"Please don't leave me. You wouldn't wanna make me lonely, would you?" She holds your hand closer to her face.

Declining isn't an option anymore.

[mxtantrights]

Hello, blessings. I'm not sure if you take requests about Jason Todd, and I would like to make one where the reader has been a friend of Jason practically all her life. They both lived on the streets of Gotham City, but when Jason left with Bruce and tried to take her with him, she refused and continued living on the streets. However, Jason always looked out for her.

Until Jason dies, and when he returns, he sees that she has a "family", but it wasn't something that could be called that.

What do you think would happen?

growing up with Jason todd is probably a lot of fun but a totally a headache. I mean stealing is one thing, you gotta eat and you gotta survive. But stealing the hubcaps to the bat mobile? yeah, Jason was asking for trouble.

before Bruce took Jason in, you two were inseparable. You did everything together. You slept in shady places, you shared food, you traded stories about your childhoods, or lack thereof.

things changed slightly when Bruce took in Jason. You and him obviously couldn't steal anymore, or crash in vacant places. If you wanted to eat Jason would offer to take you out to eat. If you weren't sure where you were sleeping, Jason offered a bad for you in the manor.

It felt weird to you. So you stopped asking for things and in turn told Jason to stop giving you handouts. Jason made you promise that you would try to get not he straight and narrow and that was the deal.

You knew that if you ever ran into trouble Jason would be there. Like when your shifty landlord wanted to kick you out because he wanted to raise the rent. Suddenly, your landlord changed his tune and said he would accept whatever money you could give for rent. You knew it was Jason but you decided to keep it to yourself.

It goes on like this for years. Someone gives you a hard time, you say it in passing to Jason, and the problem is solved. You feel like a bad friend for only being a taker in the relationship but Jason reminds you time after time that he's happy to do it.

Then Jason dies. And you have to make a difficult choice. To go back to the way you were before, not falling the rules, living day by day on chance and luck. Or follow through on what Jason wanted for you.

It takes a couple of months. But you decide through your grief that you'll keep your deal with Jason even if he's not alive. You feel like you're only half alive though.

That's how you end up in a relationship with a scumbag. To be fair it didn't start that way. It was nice in the beginning. Flowers, chocolates, dates and planned outings. But then things just started to decline.

And you didn't really want to get out of it. You felt like you rigged a hole for yourself and wouldn't let yourself out of it. Why would you? It's not like you had someone who cared for you. Yes Bruce checked in on you every once in a while but he had other things to worry about, other kids, other robins.

It's not until you're three years into this toxic relationship that one day you're single. All the scumbag leaves for you is a note telling you not to call, and that you won't see each other again. It reminds you of Jason solving you problems but you know its' not him.

You try to hold onto the feeling but it's pretty fleeting. Living in a world without Jason Todd is horrible.

One night, when you're at an old spot you used to crash in with Jason, drinking away the feelings you meet him. Red hood. You had heard of the power shift he created in Gotham. So many people told you he was scary to be around but he didn't seem like it.

When Red hood takes off his mask you almost lose your shit.

[stevesnightmares]

I'm sorry but I really don't get how people can be mad at mu qing for leaving xie lian when he did. I'm willing to accept many and varied opinions on the mountain incident (to a degree, even there I have some strong opinions), but when it comes to him asking to leave and then leaving, I just don't get it.

Mu Qing had a mother he had to take care of, a sick and poor mother, how could he spend every second of his life taking care of Xie Lian, Feng Xin, the king and the queen when his only family also needed his help? Who would put anyone else's safety and well being over their own mother's safety and well being? Even if it was your bestest of friends, would you still be able to pick their life over your own mother?

"The King and Queen are his Highness parents but I have my own mother to worry about. She also needs my care. I can't neglect my own mother for the sake of someone else or someone else's parents."

Not only that, but while Xie Lian obviously considered Mu Qing his dear friend, Mu Qing was still his servant and even while the five of them were now all in the same situation and were all poor and hungry, Mu Qing was still the only one who had to take care of all of the chores. They could've divided, could've helped him, but no, even when they had all fallen into poverty, lost their riches and titles, Mu Qing was still treated as everyone's servant. So sure, they were friends who cared for each other, but he was also their servant and who would ever chose their master over their own mother?

"Mu Qing had always been responsible for looking after the money purse, and he had constantly kept track of their finances."

"With Mu Qing gone, they had also lost the one who brought food to the king and queen."

"But he didn’t know how to finish that sentence. Could’ve what? Could’ve had the palace attendants do the washing? Could’ve had Mu Qing do the washing? None of that was possible now."

"Mu Qinghad acted as their personal attendant on their never-ending road to escape, and his duties had included taking care of all personal necessities—including caring for the needs of Xie Lian, the king, and the queen. With him gone, there was no one to attend to all the mundane daily tasks. No one to cook, no one to wash, no one to fold the blankets. The simple days of the past suddenly became difficult."

They were all in a terrible and hard situation and yet Mu Qin still had to be their servant, work with Feng Xin and Xie Lian and then also take of his mother.

In addition to that, Xie Lian and Feng Xing had never been poor before and thus they had a lot more pride than Mu Qing did when it came to making money: we see them starting that fight and losing their money, we see them refusing to become street performers. Mu Qing needs money to feed himself but he also needs money to feed his mother and Xie Lian and Feng Xin weren't willing to do what needed to be done, which left him in a difficult position.

“Another reason is that I feel we’ve become mired in this situation and have very different ideas on how to pull ourselves out. Pardon my honesty, but if we keep going like this, nothing will get better—even in a million years. And so, our paths have diverged.”

Feng Xin being angry at Mu Qing in the past makes sense: not only is he loyal to a fault and always seems to put Xie Lian first but he also seems to often see the worst in Mu Qing, so it makes sense that he would chalk it up to Mu Qing being a leech who stood by Xie Lian side only when things were good because he wanted to reap the benefits of being Xie Lian's friends but leaveing once there were no more benefits. But readers know that's not what happened or what was going on in Mu Qing head because he straight up said the reason why he left, and while Feng Xin might not believe him, I don't see why fans wouldn't either when we've seen him care from his mother from the beginning.

“Your Highness, you hear that? Remember what I said back then? I said that he’d be the first to run off if you were ever banished. Didn’t I tell you?”

“Well, don’t you have a load of sour, veiled excuses? I don’t give a damn,” Feng Xin said. “Is it so hard to admit you’re an ungrateful traitor?”

“Goddammit. That bastard was happy to share the wealth but not the suffering. He ran away the moment things got tough. Does he remember nothing of your kindness?!” “I’m the one who told him not to remember it,” Xie Lian said. “So…you don’t need to bring it up constantly.” “But he couldn’t possibly forget it for real?!” Feng Xin refuted.

And even Xie Lian almost seems to think that the only reason Mu Qing left is because things just got too bad and Mu Qing didn't want to stay with him because it was just too hard instrad of thinking about Mu Qing situation.

He never expected someone so close to him to leave just like that. Xie Lian had always believed in “forever”—friends would always be friends forever, with no betrayal, no deception, no breaking up. Perhaps there would come a time when they had to part, but it wouldn’t be for a reason like “things got too horrible.”

Of course I don't blame Xie Lian for being a little "self centered" after everything the poor boy had to go through, after everything he had to endure, everything he had to lose (including faith in himself). My point isn't about Xie Lian, who had to endure more than he could handle and now he also had to lose one of the people that he considered his closest friends while being at his (at the time) lowest, but simply about some posts that I saw about Mu Qing leaving that I didn't agree with. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion of course, this is simply mine.

[captain-mj]

So I got an idea I need to share-

Banshee Soap? I know Banshees are technically female but I'm just in love with the idea of Soap being a banshee in disguise and him having to reveal that in order to save Ghost or something-

Sorry I just needed to share this :)

I love this!! Sure! I feel it fix October vibes.

Ghost had heard the wailing of the spirits before. They were there the night Roba buried him alive. Howling and screaming at him. Wanting to get to him.

They had silenced once he had burst out of the dirt, but they had watched. He had no proof. Had not seen a damn thing. But he knew something was out there observing him. They had watched him shake each bug off of his skin.

He had heard men talk about the war as an entity. A being that screamed and called people to their deaths. Maybe they had been crazy. Ghost preferred that thought. Quite a bit actually.

But another part liked the guarantee that he wouldn't be dying alone. That no matter what, something would be out there for him. Watching him. Observing him.

Tonight, on this roof, he accepted that he'd hear those spirits again.

Soap sat next to him, guarding the entrances so Ghost could try to snipe who he could in relative safety. Someone kept trying to snipe him back, but they had just managed to hit the lip of the roof so far. But they were moving, making it hard to pinpoint where they were.

There were too many people. They weren't going to last forever. Ghost was running out of bullets. Soap's gun didn't have the range. The element of surprise had been lost hours ago.

He sighed. His biggest regret would be that Soap was going to die along with him.

Ghost refused to show fear though. "Just keep shooting Johnny. We'll get out of here."

Soap smiled at him. "Course we will, Lt. You're doi-"

A gunshot whizzed past their ears and Ghost quickly got back on his sniper. He sent a gunshot right through him, watching them fall down. Not the one that was moving, but they were a little safer. Ghost slowly let out a breath and relaxed.

Soap hesitated and looked at Ghost. "Lt?"

"Don't look at me like that. Just keep watching."

Soap frowned at him.

Someone whistled. Low and long.

Ghost heard the spirits.

"You religious, Johnny?"

"No."

"Neither am I. Guess neither of is going to pray."

Soap hesitated, stepping a little closer. "Sim-"

That sniper Ghost had been fighting with. The bullet went straight him. Blood splattered on the ground.

Soap stumbled but he didn't fall. He just stood there, blood dripping down. The next bullet went through his head and Ghost covered his face.

He didn't want to see.

How selfish.

But he didn't want to see.

The spirits. They screamed so loud and so long. Ghost scrambled to cover his ears and he tried to breath. Something was wrong. There was so much blood on the roof. It had to be an inch thick and it kept coming.

Ghost tried to stand up but the moment he wasn't covering his ears, pain would lance through him. The sound tried to drive itself all the way into his skull. Clawing his eardrums and worming its way into his brain until his temples were pounding.

The glass on his helmet fully shattered and Ghost started to scream himself. Anything to drown out the noise.

It started to hit him that Johnny was dead.

His partner.

His best friend.

Ghost screamed louder. Until the earth itself felt like it was tearing.

His hands felt wet.

Slowly, he started to pull his hands away, planning to just let his eardrums bust. Maybe let his brain hemorrhage.

Hands grabbed his and slammed them back over his ears. Someone straddled him, head butting against his so their foreheads sat together.

Ghost squeezed his eyes tighter and waited.

Time moved like honey through his fingers. Slow and languid but steady.

"Simon."

Ghost took a steady breath.

"Johnny?"

Soap was pressed them closer together. "Just breath. Your head must be killing you."

Ghost opened his eyes.

Soap was there. Gorgeous, but not solid.

Ghost stared.

"Sorry about that, Lt. Didn't mean to hurt you. Just keep your ears covered and keep your eyes on me."

Ghost shook his head slowly and looked.

Bodies. Dozens. Helmets shattered. Blood pooling out of the orifices in their face.

He tasted blood, realizing it was his own. Judging by the sun, hours had passed.

Ghost swallowed and shivered, feeling an intense cold.

Soap stood up, feet barely touching the ground. "Don't tell Price. Please."

"Kill me if I do?"

"Nae. Could never kill you Ghostie." Soap carefully helped Ghost get his helmet off. Broken shards of it falling out. He watched him lift his mask up and then off, blood smearing. "Let me get the blood out of your hair."

Ghost nodded and sipped the canteen of water he had on hand. Soap gently started to get the blood out of his hair. Gentle and loving. He kissed Ghost's forehead. "I'm sorry for hurting you. Are you okay?"

Ghost had a lot of feelings. Okay was not one of them.

"Yeah, I'm fine. What are you?"

"Banshee. There's a reason I never had a problem clearing out places when I was alone." Soap gently combed his fingers through his hair. "You're okay. I promise."

Ghost nodded and took a deep breath. "I'm okay..."

"You're okay." Soap said softly. "Try not to do this since usually it kills my companions but... I was pretty sure you'd be fine."

"Was dead anyway."

"Exactly. I had to take the risk. You'd either die or... maybe not die." Soap smiled at him.

Ghost nodded. "Glad you took the chance. Even if my ears are still ringing."

Soap laughed and offered his hand to help him up. They both stared for a moment.

Ghost realized he didn't have his mask and it must've showed.

"Don't worry. No living humans for miles. You're perfectly safe."

"There's you."

"Yeah. There's me."

Ghost took a deep breath, feeling it shudder in his chest. "anything I should know about banshees?"

"To see them usually brings misfortune, but I turned that off for you."

"Touching you is... fine?"

"Yeah, of course. Nothing different from before today."

Ghost nodded and slowly reached up. Soap went solid again beneath his fingers. He gently trailed his fingers over his cheek, smearing the blood.

Soap leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"Simon, we should be going. This is going to be hard to explain."

Ghost nodded and followed him.

He was pretty sure he'd never quite get rid of the tinnitus.

[mikeysbride]

We Are Not Going Back

The 2024 U.S. presidential election has been anything but typical or boring, especially in the last month. Once President Joe Biden made the decision to remove himself from the race against Donald Trump in favor of endorsing VP Kamala Harris, everything changed. And it changed for the better if you're a Democrat. I was upset when he first withdrew, feeling that he was basically pushed into it by the media's insistence he is too old to run despite the record he's had as President the last 4 years. But then, within minutes, it seemed, my attitude changed to one of a sense of hope I hadn't felt in a while where the election is concerned. In reality, he made the ultimate selfless decision to put the country's interests above his own, and that is a remarkable quality, especially in a politician. It shows he's the real deal.

It appears I am not alone. The surge of excitement in the Democratic Party surrounding Kamala's nomination, which she'll officially accept this week, has been nothing short of amazing to watch. I have not seen anything like this since President Obama, and that says a lot. Her rallies are breaking attendance records, and even longtime Republicans are pledging to vote for her.

Of course, Kamala has already received the predictable criticism from the Trump cult about everything from her heritage to her laugh. Trump also still refuses to pronounce her name correctly, which is blatantly disrespectful but also typical behavior for him. If Kamala ("comma-la") is too hard for him to pronounce, Madame President will do just fine, I'm sure. But none if this should come as news to anyone. They have nothing else to go on, so of course they resort to the lowest rungs on the ladder when in reality, she has a stellar resume and record having served as a prosecuting attorney, District Attorney, Attorney General, Senator, and now Vice President of the United States. She is an actual prosecutor going up against Trump and his 34 felony convictions, and he's allowed to do that for the highest job in the country even though many jobs won't consider you if you have even 1 felony conviction. It's laughable really; it would be hilarious if it weren't also so sad and ridiculous. You can bet anyone of color would not be allowed the same leniency.

A few days before Kamala became the presumptive nominee, my 16-year-old daughter told me she felt apprehensive about her future if there were to be another Trump presidency. I told her that I feel the same way for myself. I actually feel that way about anyone who isn't a rich, straight white male because those are the only people Donald Trump cares about - those who look and think exactly like he does. But then, Joe passed the torch to Kamala, and it seemed the country awakened to a clearly better alternative and someone even the independents could get behind. Suddenly, there was hope that maybe, just maybe, things would be OK after all. That same daughter then came to me, just a few days after our previous conversation, and told me she is no longer fearful the way she was before. My 14-year-old daughter echoes her feelings, and the both of them have taken a greater interest in the election as a result. My teenage daughters are inspired and can see themselves in Kamala, and that is huge for them and for me.

I don't care who you are; this is historic and a big deal. It takes an incredible amount of privilege to see all this unfolding and not appreciate how significant this is in our history. Not only are we on the verge of having our first female U.S. President, but she's also Black. Not only that, but she's smart, successful, personable, and damn qualified. I can't help but think of my grandparents and how thrilled they would have been to live to see Barack Obama become President and now Kamala Harris. We came so close to a female President with Hillary Clinton in 2016, and I pray the election deniers and complacent people don't mess it up for us this time. I honestly don't think we can survive another Trump presidency and come out the same way ever again. He's already promised to be a dictator on his first day back in office and has alluded to doing away with elections...neither of which we need. And we certainly don't need him. He only wants to be President to avoid jail time, point blank. We can't let that happen.

We have a chance this November to save our democracy and keep moving forward - to make a hopeful future available to everyone and not just the rich, straight white males of the country. We can do this, and I have to believe we will. This is a test we absolutely cannot stand to fail. I understand the assignment. Do you?

[erizumon]

When Heinz is Happy

The park wasn't one of your favorite places to be, too many people, too much noise, kids running around here and there (you don't dislike them, but they distracted you a lot from your own thoughts)

But there were days where everything was better, demons don't torment you, the sensations of a phantom pain that never went away in your prosthetics weren't bothersome today.

So, it would be expected that you would take this perfect day to create some plan, maybe you could even take advantage of the presence of your nemesis to invite him to lunch, that makes the day better.

But you don't want to do that.

You're at peace.

Like you've never been before.

You're not even surprised when you feel someone sitting with you on the park bench, you didn't need to look out of the corner of your eye to know that your silent companion was none other than Perry the Platypus, who seemed curious at how calm you seemed to be this morning.

“Sometimes I wonder if Francis will stop being suspicious of me when I’m doing nothing”

Perry shrugs, but gives you a light smile, you were already used to this anyway.

“Did I ever tell you about the first time I brought Vanessa to this park?” you ask, as you stare straight ahead, an answer wasn’t needed, it was never needed between the two of you “I was five, we weren’t that close to here at the time and Charlene had insisted that it was time for my pumpkin to meet other kids” as she told the story, she pulled out of the pockets of her white coat some candy, passing Perry the ones with mint and sweet tea flavor.

You could hear Perry hum in appreciation, glad to remember that these were especially her favorites.

“I was against it, but Charlene insisted I was too overprotective,” you pause and laugh. “And yes, I was.”

You see Perry raise an eyebrow, you snort at him.

“Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, I still am, shut your eyes.”

You see him snort to hold back a silent laugh.

“Whatever,” you resume. “The thing was, Charlene couldn’t do it, so she asked me to bring her instead. I didn’t work, I stayed home, so I didn’t really have any excuses, and it’s not like I refused to take care of my baby, I just--… You know, I didn’t feel comfortable exposing her to the outside.”

You watch the kids play, the ghost of a memory taking on a life of its own, and you could perfectly see the first-time dad holding his daughter tightly. You smile, too afraid to take the first step.

Too hurt to allow his daughter to carry those same wounds.

“And then, she just took over the place, ran and joined the first group she saw and that's when I knew, Perry the Platypus, that my Vanessa was going to be okay”

That she always would be…

You feel a hand on your shoulder, which makes you turn around and you can see the sweet smile that she doesn't usually give you very often, but you treasure with all your heart, you smile back.

And she decides to accompany you in her silence to see the landscape.

But something changed, because Perry takes off his hat and without understanding how at first, he manages to put the hat away somewhere, if it weren't because you know beforehand that Perry the Platypus didn't move from his place, you wouldn't have been able to recognize him.

The hand that was previously holding your shoulder is now free of the watch that he always carried with him, today, he wouldn't be Perry the Platypus.

He would be Perry, just Perry.

They look into each other's eyes and Perry extends one of his hands, palm open, a simple invitation, but with a lot of weight behind it.

You accept.

They get up from the bench and walk through the park, holding hands, as if it were something natural that they've been doing all their lives and maybe, that could be true in other lives. You don't know, but you don't need to investigate too much. Then you talk, about everything that comes to mind.

You breathe, today is a good day.

And nothing will change that.

[sokkastyles]

Hi,

Hope you are doing well. Thank you for the response on my last query. I was reading a meta about the air bender extermination, which you had reblogged in one of my older queries on TSR.

Reading it properly. I realized two things

The fact that all the air nomads were exterminated makes no sense. Were they stupid enough to not escape when they were attacked? If we are to believe none escaped, then air nomads are actually dumb.

The above also goes against the fact that Aang's Avatar training was to begin when he was 12 instead of 16, because the monks seems to have realized that the war was approaching, and he needed to be ready, which is why they tried to take Aang away from Monk Gyatso, which led to Aang running away out of fear.

This goes into LOK territory, but there are some disturbing implications of the way the Air Nomads operate. The idea that every air nomad child born will be a bender is just not possible. Heck, two of Aang's children are not air benders, so that itself throws a wrench in that idea. It also makes them similar to Ozai, if they actually held such idea (this point is never made in the shows or acknowledged in canon I think, but the idea is dangerous, and well Air Nomads are not to be idealized.)

I would like your thoughts on this.

(The meta I am referring to is; " The Airbender Extermination Is Dumbo and I Refuse to Accept It" by tumblr user @whentheynameyoujoy)

@whentheynameyoujoy's atla metas are a treasure, and I agree with the above statements. One of the big plot holes in the story is not only that the air Nomads were all exterminated in one fell swoop, despite being Nomads, something the live action adaptation tried to explain by having them all come to the Southern Temple on the night they were attacked, and Sozin purposefully planning his attack on that day. But the other thing about it is that as you say, the reason Aang was told before sixteen was because the Air Nomads knew the war was coming. They were preparing for it, to the point where they were willing to put a child's life on the line before he was ready, but they weren't prepared enough to be ready to fly away the moment a threat occurred? If we factor in the live action, this also means they decided to all have a party in the same place on the same night that they knew the people who wanted them dead would be at their most powerful.

It also just doesn't make thematic sense. These are AIR Nomads, they should be able to go wherever the wind takes them, to scatter at a moment's notice, to rise no matter how many times an attempt is made to crush them. Wouldn't that be a satisfying ending, for us to find out that like the air, there were hidden pockets that remained, permeating even the fire nation so that it would be impossible to truly defeat them. Wouldn't that also fit really well with the whole illusion of separation thing?

Which brings me to point three, or, Eugenics is Good When Good People Do It, which is actually very bad. The only way the Air Nomads only produced benders is if they did not mingle with the other nations, which makes no sense, since they were nomads, or if they somehow got rid of nonbender babies, either through dropping them off at the nearest earth kingdom orphanage (which is similar to my headcanon on what people like Ozai might do with nonbender children, or straight up infanticide, which Ozai also is a fan of.

Unfortunately the first method does not explain why there were no airbenders just hanging out in the other nations. Since we know that bending can be passed to a child from nonbender parents, then even nonbender children of air nomads would be passing on the airbender gene, and there would be nonbenders all over the Earth Kingdom suddenly giving birth to airbender children. That actually would have been another clever way to reintroduce airbenders back into the world, instead of...whatever Korra does. It also fits with theory of people like Ty Lee having air nomad blood without knowing it.

[viewsbourg]

Breaking the silence ( Shinybeyzer / Mc )

⚠disclaimer⚠

Do not witch hunt or harass shinybeyzer / shinymc / any other aliases they go under . Many things I will claim later on in the post can only be alleged as a lot of evidence has been lost from the deletion of my old discord account ( 0rbrot#5083 ) , their deletion of their old blog ( Shinymc ) , and their deletion of the current blog ( Shinybeyzer ) . this post will contain passages about manipulation , emotional abuse , and mentions of suicide and self harm . Everything detailed below is my own experience and it may vary between people

TLDR at the bottom

this will be the last time I talk about this unless this somehow manages to outrage me more . but I feel like this whole ' goodbye letter ' is just the pure embodiment of manipulation .

Here is their final letter to me .

it starts off by guilt tripping me , ' you can block me ' as well as the later part where ONCE AGAIN they assume that I hate them , or that I'll forget about them .

guess what ? I'm never forgetting you . I would never forget someone who manipulated me for 4 years and drove me near insanity just from the sheer amount of times I needed to repeat that fact . Then gauging the fact that I " sent her away " as if I hadn't warned them hundreds of times that I would cut them off if they kept going .

Then they pull the sympathy card . " I won't hate you " . No shit , you're right , you have no reason to , I'm not the one who made your life the way it is , I'm not the one who enabled it either . The reason the truth hurt so much is because you're living in god damn denial . the truth hurts , yes , but if you never face it , you'll only keep digging your grave .

once again , assuming I'll be outraged . that I'll ask them to never talk to me again . Basically just saying this to ask me to prove them wrong , but you know what ? you're right this time . Never talk to me ever again .

and finally , they definitely weren't the bad person in this situation , see ! they're wishing me happy pride month ! ! how sweeeeeeeet ! ! ! /s .

Sorry , the first part was rather emotional . But I've got a lot of things I want to provide now that this person has left tumblr , again .

it's rather hard to provide withstanding evidence for emotional manipulation , as it is a gradual thing and difficult to prove with as few screenshots , but I'll still try my best .

I've been friends with Shiny since late 2019 ( 4 years ) , we met through the AF / PR community ( now Stars Align ) On discord , most messages still being there , mostly being a relatively positive friend ship until 2021 ( below ) where they were chased out of the community for being hyper - sensitive to jokes and criticism and not being willing to listen to others ( will bring up later ) .

before long , I was greeted with a long message detailing about how I was their only friend left , and how much they loved me and needed me in those trying times . Unfortunately I have no evidence to provide so feel free to not believe me on this one .

Our relationship turned sour quick as we'd argue regularly . I set my boundaries straight and refused to blindly accept them without criticizing them for their actions at the time . this continued on relatively often but I never paid mind to it . but it only got significantly worst .

Their manipulation tactics :

they will claim that they have suicidal thoughts and need your help

they will claim nobody else accepts them , they will bash themselves for their looks and / or state of being ( unemployed , living with parents )

they will claim that they have no other friends despite being them having many readily available to use as a speaking vessel whenever you intend to block them

A lot of evidence for the claims above have been unfortunately lost from our earlier conversations and may not be evident at first , once again , i apologize for being unable to provide full proof for all of my claims .

All these actions are used to gauge your sympathy , or to pity you into caring . If you do not reciprocate , they will :

They will exaggerate your words . ( ex : We should stop being friends ➞ You hate me and want me to die )

They will assume that you dislike them because of X reason ( their words : being ugly , having no friends , etc .)

Double down and claim to go cry , self harm or kill themselves .

They will ignore your points in favor of the above .

their selfishness : Shiny is an incredibly selfish person , even if you are there in their time of needs , they won't treat you better than a stranger . Despite the superficial amount of support they give you , they don't want to treat you like a person with their own thoughts , or even care about what others need / want .

[ These conversations happened while I delayed a roleplay mission from a discord server I and friends created to roleplay fighting missions . They god mad that I wasn't willing to upload the mission until the members of the group got a hang of the concept of role playing , as some were new to it ]

[ Below : this is just childish ]

3 . they will never change .

They might tell you that they're in a horrible position , and that they're way of living everyday on their phone is bad , but don't let that fool you , they don't want to change .

Despite telling you they're changing or that they've changed , their behavior has remained the same for the 4 years I knew them . You might say " ooh well , changing these fundamental and integral parts about oneself is quite difficult and requires a lot of willpower " . That's true ! That is difficult . But you know what's not ? Working 20h a week

Despite this , you might tell yourself that you can still help them . Put their life back together , fix them , even . But I'm sorry . I have not observed any change in their behavior except for short moments where they act nicer while still making excuses to avoid changing .

Miscellaneous :

Things that belong a bit everywhere .

[ Below : refusal to change ]

[ Below : " Evil Self " ]

[ Below : Sheer breakdown and respectful response . ]

[ Below : " They go easy on me , but you don't " , referring to how I told them to get help . ]

TLDR : Shiny is a selfish , manipulative , abusive , controlling , lazy and childish 23 year old . And from my experience , they only need friends to justify themselves and validate their actions blindly . They do not desire to change despite constantly insulting themselves for the way they are . And finally , they manipulate and emotionally abuse their friends for the benefits without reciprocating the feelings in any meaningful way beyond telling you so .

But actions speak louder than words . And so far , I've only heard silence .

hello ! this is possibly the only edit i will make in regards to this situation , since theyve returned and my post has gotten a lot more attention . i posted this edit in reposts but i'd also like to add it here for simplicity's sake

the edit :

I honestly believe the original post is outdated , and written in a time where i was incredibly upset and hadn't yet had time to process any of it .

Though most of it still stands true , I want to stress that this was my personal perspective of my situation at the time . I never got to detail a lot of other things since at the time I just cobbled whatever I could to try to Express my frustration .

If you can , please find other sources as well to form a more conclusive opinion of the matter .

As well , my post / this thread will only ever detail what's happened between me and her during the years 2019 - 2023 . I do not wish to interact with them further . I also will not be updating it since it's no use digging something from the grave , if they say theyve changed , use your personal judgement for that , not information I have to provide that dates months if not years old .

As well as well , do not harass anyone who associates with shiny either . People are entitled to their own decision so being friendly with shiny is absolutely none of your business .

( added from original ) I'd also like to express that you should be allowed to want to be friends with shiny , but please be mindful of the way they interact with you , do not feel obligated to stay their friend just because of XYZ . A friendship should be mutual , one where both benefit , you should feel equally valued as how much you value shiny . if you feel like you are only getting frustrated , or feel unable to help them no matter what you do , its okay to tell them when you want to end it on the spot .

Thank you !

[noir-drabbles]

Anyone want to hear about a Samurai Drama dream I had?

This one kinda stood out to me for the fact it made me woke up emotional? It was weird. Warning, I ramble. I ramble a lot. And also my knowledge of samurai is poor so excuse that too.

The dream I had was weirdly a samurai drama? Twas in a class of wandering samurai who, while known as ronin, have skills that are pretty much unparallel and I just so happened to be one of their star pupils that they're teaching. Basically while it was a clear teacher student thing, there was also a familial bond among all of us cause all the students and adults have some kind of background that either required them to abandon their family or they were abandoned in turn. Anyways, during one of our travels, it was raining and we were near a river. Some of the adults ended up spotting a boy faced down in the sand with a sword at hand. He was sick but we took him with us and he eventually recovered. He was cold and absolutely refused to tell us where he came from or who he is but all we knew is that he refused to go home.

He's pretty in the way only a rich boy could be. You know, with the long hair, straight and cleared taken care of with skin way too clean and white, like he rarely spent a day outside. Even the callouses on his hands weren't as pronounced as they should be. He was blond for some reason? Well, it was a touch darker than blond but you get my point. Anyways...

Cue montage of me trying to befriend this dude who was, honestly, a big stuck up his own ass. He had the vibe of someone that came from a rich family, and had a bit too much confidence in his skills with the sword, but the boy was refusing to being more of a burden than he already is. Meaning, he refuses to eat anything he hasn't made or caught for himself. So, obviously, he wasn't eating enough, so I found a loophole and dragged that fucker with me to a forest to hunt, of which I obviously got the most kill and forced him to help me cook. There, food by your own efforts. Now eat fucker. And that's how we became friends.

He got softer with time, and as we traveled the adults managed to get us some time to spend at a library. Many of the others don't know how to read and the adults didn't want to leave them out. Turns out this was actually a distraction cause the adults ended up accepting this mission to get rid of a high official who's planning on expanding her influence by starting a one-sided massacre. My friend and I ended up overhearing, and turns out this high official ended up being his mother.

He has no father, just a mother who doesn't need a sword, just her own hands to get things done along with just a few other individuals. My friend wanted to kill his mother, or at least detain her for both the treatment he went through and for what she's going to do. Obviously, my friend didn't want to be left out on this attack and wanted a part of it. I ended up coming along with him as I too didn't want to be left out, but I also because whether the adults said yes or no, my friend would follow them. So, they said yes so long as we stick close to the adults.

So, the night comes and we sneaked into her compound. We're obviously not the only ronin there, a bunch more people were wrangled together cause this mission had to be done with as little error as possible. We found her in this small building that's been repurposed as a meditation room. My friend and I were there along with the adults, at the ready and willing to strike. I, however, had a real bad feeling about this cause of how smooth this missions been going. And, guess what? My instincts were right. Twas a traitor in our midst.

A traitor grabbed my from behind and gagged me just as my friend's mother burst out of her meditation room. Swords were swung, but she grabbed the closest one by neck, lifted them up and snap it went. she had a sword at her hip, but she really had no need for it. Really didn't help that our forces were cut by half and being restrained. I managed to get out of them somehow. Grabbed a sword that really wasn't made for me and tried my hand at slashing at her since I too was a bit arrogant for my own good, thinking I could somehow distract her long enough for the others to either run or hurt her.

Nope. She destroys my sword and nearly knocked me out. Punched me in the gut too. The only reason she didn't kill me was cause my friend freaked out and tried to get her to leave me alone.

Of course she would recognize her son. Kind of shocked he returned at all, but that's fine, at least she doesn't have to get pregnant and give birth again. Really only sees her son as an executor of her will and that his time outside really gave him false beliefs that he's somebody. He's nothing without her, all your skills, all your habits, all your speech and all your views, they come from her and you should be thanking her for it. You really shouldn't be thinking that you can have friends. In fact, you shouldn't have them at all.

Anyways, she didn't kill me cause she wanted him to watch while she does do so.

My friend, of course, after his whole journey of getting softer and less rough around the edges, gave himself up. I mean, he really softened up, I feel like he would be reading gentle poetry by a peach tree as the hours pass and would want to share his creations. And his mother kept true to her promise and let me go.

I remember that everyone got massacred besides me, my friend and literally two other adults. My friend stayed behind and I did start to run away. But after taking just a few steps, I couldn't. I couldn't willingly abandon him after all this time. So, dream self being dumb, willingly went back. And, of course, I was put in jail. Well, a private jail cell but still, jail. Twas an isolated thing. Didn't see anyone for nearly months on end. But then, the mother did come and decided to have me see her boy and the work she's done on him.

And it was horrid. I really don't know how to describe his face other than mutilated and stitched back together. Uneven fat, his nose wasn't even there anymore. The only things kept the same were his eyes and lips. His eyes man. Empty black pits. Given up on everything. Given up on all control of his life. I really had to hug him. And I hated that he didn't react. It hurt. I was apologizing over and over. And when he did finally lean against my hand, I was ripped away and man the mother was angry.

The dream ended with her deciding she's done with me and she's sending me off to ally of hers so that ally can have his fun. And I woke up with a lump in my throat.

[karkkidoeswriting]

Thank you so much ;-; <3 It makes me so happy you like the worldbuilding!! I've been building this world so long there's a lot of stuff there and to me it feels like a real place almost. I don't think a character-focused story necessarily needs that much worldbuilding especially urban fantasy type where you have the real world. I find it amazing how many characters you have! I bet the web of relations between all them is on it's own not an easy feat to keep straight! :D

He was named (he was four, when they lost the civil war), but he was a girl and Valeri made him act as a boy, when they ended up homeless in Amari, so they weren't separated in an orphanage, which was separated by gender. It also was also good for their cover because the imperial army wouldn't be searching for two boys that age. It worked out well for Fiolev because he ended up being transmasc, not really a boy, but rather a boy than a girl. (It's also why he can do such a convincing impression of a noble girl :D he very much will use it to his advantage)

Valeri hasn't been having a great time xD also most people would assume he's not one to cry a lot, but he is actually pretty emotional (he just doesn't know how to express them constructively which is why he doesn't seem that emotional). And Fiolev is a bit of crier, he just cries more than he remembers because of the memory issues :D

Yeah Faerathos did the nasty xDD He is captured, but he is hostage at the court and the empress is in the court too, which is why they know each other. He is still a noble, even if traitor, so he is treated that way. They wouldn't want to treat even their enemy nobles like the commoners, since a commoner might get the idea that they are not so different if you can so easily strip nobility of their power. Now that might give them some ideas. But yeah the emperor and empress are basically puppets and the empress dowager (emperor's mother) holds the real power and so Faerathos is quite sympathetic towards the emperor and the empress.

Well, they got kinda murdered over a suspicion of illegitimate heir, specifically imperial heir like in this case xD It's not a spoiler really, because it's the official story (which is not the real full story, where the actual mystery is). So the older Cassia, who was the aunt of the siblings, was the empress, but could not conceive a child, so the emperor divorced her and married the current empress dowager, but Cassia was found out to be pregnant after the emperor had already remarried (he did it like as quickly as possible), and when she gave birth to a son, he became the heir, even though there was a new empress. But because of these circumstances there were rumors that the heir was illegitimate and when the emperor was murdered, it was blamed on Cassia and her son. The claim was they were afraid that Cassia's son would be disowned and they killed him to get the throne before that would happen. And because the Mantgamias refused accept this sentencing, they were determined to have been part of the conspiracy, which then caused a civil war. But as said, this is the official version, which is at least not the full truth.

Yeah they are TALL xD The Mantgamias have a reputation for that. Fiolev, who didn't get to have growth spur while still rich and well fed, didn't grow to be as tall.

I'm glad you like Fiolev! <3 He's definitely the funniest character of the main siblings, which is very fun to write :D

15 Questions Tag

Thank you for tagging me @andromeda-grace!

I'll tag @dotr-rose-love @kainablue @rustywritessometimes @mariahwritesstuff @oh-no-another-idea @faelanvance @aquadestinyswriting @westywrites

So this is that one originally personal tag game, but people started answering it as their characters. I couldn't decide which of my MCs from BCC I'd answer this with, so I thought it might be fun to imagine them all being interviewed together. This is not a realistic scenario because during the first book they are all separated (and I answered this as if they're about 1/3 to the first book, where I'm roughly at writing wise), but it was still fun to imagine :D

1. Are you named after anyone?

Faerathos: "I can go first. Oldest sons in our house have been named Faerathos for a long time. In ancient times the name was Faerían, Faerathos being Angusianized version. Our father wasn't the eldest brother, his brother, the previous Faerathos, died before we were born so in a way I was mostly named after him."

Cassia: "My name also runs in the family, given to oldest daughters. Our aunt, from father's side, was also a Cassia."

Valeri: "My name is from our mother's family. I think her uncle was a Valeri?"

Fiolev: "I named myself after my cat." *everyone turns to him in disbelief including Valeri who thought he knew the story behind the name* "Well, that's the truth! There was some ancient legendary Cerfí warrior named Fiolev and I remembered Valeri telling me the name meant a white mountain cat. So when I had to give myself a name, I had just befriended this homeless white kitten and I named myself basically white cat. Though mountain cats are a tiny bit bigger than my cat."

2. When was the last time you cried?

Cassia: "When I was 19."

Valeri: "7 years ago? I don't believe that."

Cassia: "I'm sorry, if that makes you feel bad that you cry all the time, but I have done the work to destroy my ability to express emotions, so I can't cry anymore, even if I wanted to."

Valeri: "I don't cry all the time."

Cassia: "Well, tell us then the last time you cried?"

Valeri: "... Last week."

Faerathos: "I think I last cried three weeks ago during my monthly mental breakdown."

Fiolev: "My memory is pretty bad, so I'm not fully sure, but I think it was month ago, when Valeri left to his mission."

Valeri: "I'm sorry..."

3. Do you have any kids?

Cassia: "No and I mean to keep it that way."

Valeri: "No, but I'd like to have one day, if ever my life stops being a constant battle for survival."

Fiolev: "Yeah, no, that sounds like a nightmare. But I want Valeri to have so I can be the cool uncle who teaches them all the bad words."

*After a silence everyone turns to Faerathos.*

Faerathos: "Can I go with I'm not sure? Probably not?"

Valeri: "What the fuck does that mean?"

Faerathos: "There is a non-zero change that the empress is not in fact pregnant with a legitimate imperial heir, but my child so... We don't have to get too deep into that."

Cassia: "It was literally this type of scenario our whole clan got murdered over!"

Faerathos: "... I'm sorry?"

4. Do you use sarcasm?

Fiolev: "I'm fluent in it yes."

Cassia: "Do I look like the type of person, who would do something like that? she said sarcastically."

Faerathos: "Sure, sometimes when annoyed."

Valeri: "I'm not very good with words, but contrary to the popular belief I have a sense of humor too, so occasionally yes."

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Faerathos: "The way they dress. It's pretty noticeable from far away."

Cassia: "The way people move and hold themselves."

Valeri: "I agree with Cassia."

Fiolew: "I will answer truthfully only, if everyone promises to have no follow up questions." *looks at the others till they all nod* "I first notice where people are holding their money."

6. What's your eye color?

Fiolev: "Gray."

Faerathos: "Also gray."

Valeri: "Light blue."

Cassia: "Even lighter blue."

7. Scary movies stories or happy endings?

Fiolev: "I love scary stories."

Cassia: "I agree. The more gruesome the better."

Faerathos: "I'm not that interested in scary stories, but happy endings do often ring hollow to me, so I think I'll choose scary stories."

Valeri: "I'm the only one who prefers happy endings?"

8. Any special talents?

Cassia: "I'm quite good at singing really low notes. I can do acrobatics and my specialty is sword dance where I balance with three swords. I'm also very good at disguising myself with transformation magic as people I have killed by using their skin and bones."

Faerathos: "Well that escalated. Maybe we'll just breeze past that? I don't have a lot of special talents. I guess I'm good at math, but that's not very special. Though I can research at the library for hours without breaks if that counts?"

Fiolev: "I'm very good at taking... let's say objects from other people's pockets without them noticing. I'm also quite good at... let's say convincing people of not exactly true things. I also do an excellent impression of a very naive and impressionable noble girl in distress. A totally innocent skill that could have no implications of criminal behavior."

Cassia: "We all believe you, love."

Valeri: "I don't have any very special talents. I'm pretty good at disarming people, shooting and parrying on horseback, surviving in wilderness and I guess taking a beating."

9. Where were you born?

Faerathos: "We were all born in Abhlean, the capital of Cabalusia, in literally the same room."

10. What are your hobbies?

Faerathos: "Playing piano, reading, gambling and swords-fighting, but that last one I do only because Marcus forces me to."

Cassia: "Opera could be characterized as my third job and not a hobby, so I'll go with... industrial sabotage."

Valeri: "You're not going to elaborate on that, are you?"

Cassia: "Nope."

Valeri: "Okay then. I also play piano and I play violin, both of which I'm pretty rusty at."

Fiolev: "I feed the local homeless animals and take care of them generally."

11. Have you any pets?

Fiolev: "As I mentioned earlier, I have a cat. Her name is Snow, because she's white and I named her when I was five. She's great, though getting elderly."

Valeri: "I have two dogs, Cúén and Faéndie, both Cabalusian bear dogs. They are trained as war dogs, but they are family and I keep them with me at home."

Fearathos: "I don't have a pet."

Cassia: "I have technically a crow. It's not my pet though, it would probably eat me in my sleep if I called it my pet. Yeah... it's not really a crow. It's name is Fianne. I have an actual animal companion too, my little baby saber-tooth snow leopard, Ciri. She's not actually little."

12. What sports do you play/have played?

Faerathos: "Hunting, which I don't get opportunities to do as a hostage in the court, Cabalusian horse-racing, which every Cabalusian noble kid has to do, but I didn't really enjoy, and now I'm still forced to do swords-fighting."

Cassia: "I also did Cabalusian horse-racing, which I did like, and hunting, but I haven't done them as a hobby since, you know, the civil war. I have hunted for survival though."

Valeri: "I also did the same sports before civil war, though I was too young to be taken to the hunts and I did horse polo. I don't play sports anymore, as a cavalry officer I do swords-fighting and horseriding a lot, but for war purposes. And I've hunted for survival."

Fiolev: "I was too young to play any sports before the civil war, and when I grew up we were poor and sports really are a rich people thing. I have played whatever ball games poor kids play on the plazas, but I don't think they count here."

13. How tall are you?

Faerathos: "195 cm."

Fiolev: "175 cm."

Cassia: "186 cm."

Valeri: "What? You're also taller than me?"

Cassia: "How tall are you then?"

Valeri: "185 cm."

Cassia: "Ha!"

14. Favorite subject in school?

Fiolev: "History."

Cassia: "Biology."

Valeri: "It would be either music or history."

Faerathos: "Physics, which is why I'm still studying it. It hits the right spot of 'I'm good at it so I don't get too frustrated' and 'it's hard so it's interesting'."

15. Dream job?

Fiolev: "Hmm I don't know. What profession makes you rich? Probably depends on that. Alternatively I would love to just take care of all the strays in the city, if someone rich would suddenly get a strong desire to pay someone for that."

Faerathos: "I'm pretty happy with my job as a physicist, but even more than that I would want to be a senator. I can't of course because of the whole hostage situation, but I want to be in a position where I can actually change things."

Cassia: "Dream job? I have never thought about that. Before civil war I was a noble girl and nobles don't have jobs, so I didn't dream of having one. And now I have more important things to do than thinking what I'd want to do for a profession. Though I will say, I have always enjoyed opera, and now that I'm actually an opera performer, I do like it, even if it's just an means to an end, like my other professions. So if I have to pick one, that might be it."

Valeri: "I wanted to be a soldier as a child, but I ended up being one in the least desirable way possible. I don't think I'd call it my dream job anymore. I don't know what I'd call my dream job."

[stormblessed95]

I would like to comment on an ask you received discussing why so many people refuse to see or acknowledge jikook as being more than friends. In theirs and your response you both mentioned heteronormativity and homophobia. I would like to push back some against the claim that it's homophobia. While I can't deny that this plays some role I don't think it plays a massive one. I would say that k-pop dating culture, expectation of fan service, and how commonplace shipping is within k-pop plays a larger role.

Since shipping/fan service is such a huge deal within k-pop I think many naively discredit any signs of members being together because all can go under the label of fan service and shipping culture. They don't realize how the industry has biased them against the possibility of members ever being more.

People who came across BTS without having any knowledge of k-pop are way more objective. For example, I am not a huge k-pop fan. I like BTS and came upon them in early 2017. I didn't know what shipping, fan service, or skin ship was prior to this. I just simply liked their content and within a VERY short time span (3 days) came to believe that Jimin and Jungkook were in a relationship. It wasn't until I started researching if anyone else felt the same that I came to understand what shipping, fan service, and skin ship was. I found many people trying to explain away Jikook's suspect behavior by claiming that's just what idols do, it's fan service, they do it for their shippers etc. I never really fell for it because as I looked more into fan service and ship videos, Jikook's suspect interactions didn't match what fan service meant. It seemed too subtle (at the time) and knee jerk...it didn't seem to be for fans but just who they were together. However, it didn't matter how I felt I was still inundated with claims of it's fan service or from other shippers, they actually hate each other and Big Hit (at the time) just plays them up for cameras.

If shipping and fan service weren't such huge components of the k-pop industry not a single person would question Jikook's relationship status, especially now. It would just be accepted. However, their very obvious couple interactions are discredited because fan service does exist as a plausible explanation, at least to the naive.

Now when GCF Tokyo came out I was sure that most people would acknowledge their status as a couple and when people still denied it I was a little shocked. And one could claim this as homophobia, but I still don't think that' the case. People go to great lengths to discredit even straight couples in k-pop and idols dating is called a scandal. I think this falls into an even larger toxic element of k-pop dating culture. Fans hate their idols actually having a life and become angry at the idea of them being humans with natural desires for relationships. Idols are commodified and not seen as people rather products. So when it appears that idols are actually dating, fans become enraged and try to discredit that reality.

So, it's not that people don't see Jikook as being an actual couple, it's that either A. Fan service/skinship/and shipping culture clouds their judgement, or B. If it's super obvious that there is something more they become enraged by the idea that their idol is no longer available so they seek to do anything they can to normalize that behavior and discredit it.

I believe both A and B is what's going on regarding why the fan base is so adamant that Jikook aren't a thing. You have hardcore k-pop fans that are so used to shipping culture that all intimate interactions are just for the fans. And then you have hardcore stans that hate the idea of their idol being in a relationship with anyone other then themselves so they have to turn a blind eye to jikook. Because come on, at this point what reality are we living in where two men can suck each others ears, give each other hickeys, make romantic travel vlogs of each other and way more and still not be seen as being together. What they are goes way beyond fan service and skin ship. They are clearly together...I saw that 3 days into watching BTS material at a time where they weren't so obvious. LIke it's clear as day.

sorry for the long ask

Thanks for sharing! Everyone has their own thoughts over it all. And I think everyone is a little bit right in their own ways. And Part of it comes down to each individual. No one answer will encompass everyone. Ever. To be human is to be different. To think and process things differently. I do agree with you, just like I agree with the last persons and those in the comment section. As well as there is probably more to it than everything already discussed and that's probably aren't far off or wrong either. One thing worth adding, that can and does connect the two though, is that one has to take into consideration the foundations of homophobia/heteronormativity and even queer baiting at times that is at the root of your typical bouts of kpop fanservice. And that heteronormativity and homophobia can shape the way you think even unintentionally, even while you don't THINK you ARE having your thoughts led by homophobia. It's a result of the society in almost EVERY part of the world. It comes in different shapes, but the basis is still there. Idk if that makes sense, but hopefully you get what I'm trying to say. Lol

Again, thanks for sharing!! I appreciate it. Don't apologize for Long asks. I'm like well known for my rambling essays over topics. 💜💜 Anon was referencing this ask in their reply here.

[kim-poce]

7. Witches Are Meant To Burn: Interview

On Patreon (two weeks earlier release)

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There was someone waiting for me outside my house. I knew who it was, I mean, there was just one person who both knew I was home and would go out of their way to stand there in the morning knowing full well I was out to work.

Tina had her long straight black hair down, contrasting with her pale white skin. In Portia, we were both wearing a mix of our own clothes, PPE, and light white clothes common in the area, but now that we were here, she was back wearing her usual hoodie with cotton trousers. When she saw me she put a book back in her cross-body bag and waved.

I waved back.

“Mandatory break,” I reminded her as soon as I got close enough.

“I’m on a break. I decided to go people-watching,” she said with a smirk, looking at me sideways to make sure I understood that I was the ‘people’ she was going to watch. “Now I know how you are always too early for your interviews, I also know you didn’t have any cake yet.”

“You say as if one should have cake every day.”

“They should! I already called a carriage, seriously were you planning to go on foot? You should buy a house closer to, well, anything. At least close to a carriage point, but knowing you it would be easier to buy the horses than move away.”

“You are exaggerating. I just don’t have a reason to move out.”

“You have so many reasons to move out,” she sighed, shaking her head in mock disappointment. “Anyway, we are just going to eat something fast then we go Jitarin.”

As usual, I checked everything I needed inside my bag once more before getting inside the carriage. Everything inside.

“What do you need?” I asked once we were moving. “In Jitarin, I mean, I know you would not go there during a break just to watch me get some new people in the boat.”

Tina sighed. “The principal wants to make a contract with me.”

For any other student it would be good news, but not for Tina for some reason.

“What did she offer?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not accepting it.”

“You should at least think about it,” I tried.

“You know I don’t want it. I’m not even a student in Jitarin, I’m your pupil, so they accepted me there. But I don’t want to work for them.”

“Many other academies called you for a contract and you never let any of them speak. I don’t know what you want, you can’t be my student forever.”

Tina rolled her eyes. “Whatever, I’ll just refuse her politely, or not politely if she insists.”

I decided I didn’t want to continue the conversation, whatever Tina wants it was not something she is willing to tell. “Were you waiting long?”

“No actually, I know you too well,” she said. It was true. Tina was my student since before I finished my major, and she kept me by my side in almost every project I had since then.

“You sound like a stalker,” I said, and she dramatically put her hand over her heart. “Are you sure you weren't waiting long? You were reading.”

“I was bored,” she shrugged.

“Do you know what the boys are up to?” I asked.

“If you think I’ll say if they are working or not, I won’t. I’m not a snitcher.”

“So they are working.”

“I never said that, I never said anything. I won’t tell you what they are or what they are not doing. They could be getting drunk in the back alley or back in Podium and my answer would be the same,” she smirked at me as if challenging me to twist her words. “And before you can complain, I’m just kind of working because of the principal. Not my fault. But since I will be on academy grounds anyway…”

“Mandatory break. Seriously, are you all allergic to taking a break?”

“You are not taking a break.”

“I’m not on a break. You are.”

Although Tina said she would watch the interview, the principal called her as soon as we arrived so I was along with the new potential students. They would close in a short-term apprenticeship to study the Podium Library, so of course, there were several who signed up for it. I cut anyone whose field isn’t specialized in the languages in Podium (the three languages that are older versions of language used today), I also cut anyone whose time wasn’t free. After all, they need to go to another country and stay inside this cave for a very long time.

There were still many left. Tina was done with her little meeting and started interviewing some students herself. We finished late, and with four new people to join us for the minimum period of three months with the possibility of extending. It would take about two days for the papers to be ready, the lawyers contacted, and the signatures taken. I was exhausted.

“Food!” Tina yelled when we were done. “Let’s go to a restaurant!”

“Please,” I said. “I’m starving for some real food. Where is Hector when I need him?”

We were about to get on another carriage when I checked my bag once again. “I left the notebook in the meeting room,” I said, tsking my tongue.

“Do you need it now?”

“Not now, but I don’t want to come back another day just because of a notebook. I’ll go get it.”

I turned around, facing the small building made just for meetings and interviews. That’s when that happened. I heard a loud noise on the other side of the academy. I wish I could tell exactly what happened when, but there was only one thing in my head back then; fire.

It came from Gione Petar’s students’ dorms first, it spread way too fast. I felt the heat, even when I was too far away to truly be able to feel it. The fire spread to the building where I held the meetings not long ago. No. Not spread. The buildings didn’t even touch each other. It was a new fire, a new fire right where I was just able to go back to. I should run. I should get away but I just… watched. Frozen. Afraid.

I hate not acting rationally. Principally when I’m not alone, even more, when I’m around my students. I should’ve led Tina away from the place, the firefighters in the academy would take care of it, and we were both too far from the fire to be in much danger. We just had to leave. I just had to leave.

Tina was the one leading me away, though. I don’t know when I arrived at my house. I don’t deal well with time measuring while a fire is consuming a building near me. I drank some water, but it could be tea or anything. I wasn't really tasting it. I didn’t sleep. I knew what I was going to dream about if I did. So I just worked instead.

“The fire could have waited until I had fetched my notebook,” I tried to joke. Tina didn’t laugh.

“Are you okay?” she asked after a while.

“I’m fine. I wasn’t even near the fire or anything,” I said. I knew what she meant. I wasn’t going to answer that. “Luckily I have one spare notebook.”

“One?” Tina asked. Back to the joyful tone, but a bit awkward now. “You could fill the Podium with your unused notebooks!”

I laughed. It was good to laugh, it’s not like something happened to me. I just don’t like fire. That’s all. “Well, for now, I just need to fill this notebook with whatever I remember from the notes of the last one.”

“I already told the coachman to buy us some dinner. So I’ll help you.”

“Is he a coachman or your aid?”

“He says he can be anything I want as long as I pay him.”

“Fair enough.”

—

@kathea, @extemporary-username, @wolfeyedwitch, @blu-jay-2779, @rose-pinkie, @latenightcupsofcoffee

[strawbabysimp]

Adult Trio Soulmate Strings AU HCs

Chrollo

No one had told him what the string meant, what was on the other side waiting for him. Children in Meteor City knew how to fight and how to live and how to kill. Not how to love. Or maybe they did and the world simply told them they shouldn't. That they weren't deserving of it. As he got older Chrollo eventually sought out the meaning of this mysterious red string, finding his answer in one of the books he managed to get his hands on in that wretched and beloved place. A soulmate.

There was a person out there just for him, but more importantly, there was a destiny. A plan for him. He knew he had to find them, to secure this irrefutable connection to another. The leader had planned to meet them when he got out of Meteor City, it was part of the reason he formed the Troupe. Though, as the years went on and life took its toll on him, as it did anyone, the desire to find this person faded. By the time The Spiders had managed to become a notorious group, it was a dream within a dream. A soulmate? How tragically philosophical.

That's not to say he wasn't curious, but he lost that drive, running on autopilot as he searched for a passion without the motivation to even want one. Sometimes he did find himself especially enraptured by the red string secured around his finger though, toying with it during meetings or tying small knots that soon came undone while laying in bed.

Guilt wasn't something he felt often, taking lives and valuables without a second thought was a regular occurrence, but with you? He felt utterly in the wrong. To deny you of something even he found beautiful simply because he "didn't care?" That's when he felt like a monster. He found comfort in the title though, embracing the fact of what he was. He was selfish and greedy and somehow still found a way to prevent himself from gaining the one thing that could save him.

One day he had been twisting the string between his fingers, a mannerism that even the others around him had picked up on when there was a tug back. It became a regular occurrence, the two of you pulling on the string lightly back and forth. You tried to beg him through the string to come to find you, pulling him in your direction, but he never did come. You knew it was impossible to tell, but it seemed he had gotten even farther away.

The only connection you'd ever have with him was through those small motions and you'd go on to love someone else. Maybe not in the way you would have loved him, but there's not much to do when you're destined to love someone who was forced to learn how not to.

Hisoka

"I don't have one" he'd respond calmly. This was his and his alone, so what if people thought he was a freak? He wouldn't allow someone to interfere with this in even the most minuscule way. A person who relied on him and only him to fulfill the grandest idea of love? Nothing could hold more power than the blood-soaked string tied around his ring finger.

Heaven's Arena was a well-known spot, a tourist attraction of sorts, so you simply had to stop by when you happened to be near. As you made your way to the stands and gazed on at the stage you found him already looking at you, giving you a quick smirk as your gaze fell to his hand with a shocked expression. At the end of his "performance" he typically met with fans but this time he naturally went straight to you, a single blood-stained rose held out in a tender gesture. You didn't question how he had managed to obtain the flower, too busy processing the fact that this bizarre man was your soulmate.

Every moment with you is too much for him to endure. It's an adrenalin rush that he's become addicted to but whenever he looks at you he gets this urge to tear everything you are apart and cover himself in the pieces he could never think to reach from the outside. Being close to you is never close enough and the only way to satisfy this feeling of need would be to destroy you. He can't bear to do that but it's so tempting.

At rare times something in him seemed to break, going off on tangents about the cruelty of his thoughts and how he longed to turn you into yet another victim of his murderous desires. He had planned to take over your life, wishing to bask in the high your undying love was sure to give him. A man becoming weak through the pursuit of power is a pitiful sight even for one not tied to them by fate. "My love will never complete you. I take and I take and I offer up only the worst parts of myself because that's all I have to offer. That's the tragedy of loving me, my dear. I will not apologize because I do not feel bad, however, I will not allow myself to hurt such a lovely thing."

You always come back to each other, the string acting as a sort of magnet between you two. Eventually, you both come to accept the situation for what it is; deadly but far too tempting to not risk everything for. He was the most beautiful thing you'd ever laid eyes on and if the image of him was the last thing you ever saw you'd consider it a privilege.

Surprisingly enough, the magician never does end up taking your life, finding the unfamiliar task of restraining himself a new sort of challenge to prove his strength. Holding you close to him, pressing your body against his as he watches your auras merge, was a common occurrence. When his bloodlust rose and your fear spiked just a fraction he would plant a gentle kiss on your cheek before pulling away with some excuse, you both knew he did this to protect you but he'd never admit that.

Illumi

Soulmates were a weakness in the eyes of the Zoldycks, hypocritical to say the least as Silva and Kikyo were tied by fate, but that was typical. Despite the harsh words his parents had told him, his curiosity would eventually get the better of him and he would seek you out. Traveling in the direction the string took him without fail. It was an easy task when you had money and power. Locating you was not the issue, deciding what to do with you once found was. Simply approaching you wouldn't do.

He watched you for a long time, disappearing into a crowd or dark corner whenever you felt eyes on you. One day you found yourself doing trivial tasks, walking the streets on your way to pick up a snack, or do some light shopping when an unfamiliar feeling hit you. It wasn't unpleasant so much as it was surprising. You even describe it as lovely.

Despite his best efforts to keep himself hidden from your view, Illumi had never been trained to hide love. Pain, fear, anger, sadness, all these were painstakingly buried deep within him to the point that even he didn't know how to release them. But what he felt when looking at you grew greater with each small action and he didn't notice it slipping through until it was too late.

The second your eyes met he was a goner. It was like a drug to the emotionally-deprived man and while he knew it wouldn't do any good to engage you, the selfishness that was ripped out of him from a young age came flooding back full force. Both of you remained shocked as you approached one another but the small smile you gave him was enough to make him think that maybe this was the one time surrendering himself to feelings was okay.

Marrying you was a plan he wants to put into action as soon as possible, using the piece of paper as a form of protection. "Never kill a family member" read the Zoldyck rules that were engraved into the assassin's mind. This would be one of many forms of rebellion you had influenced Illumi in making, and while it wasn't necessarily against the rules, it was certainly not something he thought his parents would approve of.

When you're hanging out he remains a bit stiff, not sure of how to act around someone casually. You begin to feel off-put by the awkward composure of your soulmate though he picks up on it easily, his ability to read people far more advanced than the average person. Illumi allows a small bit of his aura to shine through the veil to reassure you of his contentment, and while he won't acknowledge it, you're grateful for his efforts. It's during one of these dates, hidden away in a hotel relaxing beside one another, that the usually warm and comforting aura changes. His arm comes to hold you just a bit tighter and the love he allowed to encompass you shut off. This had happened times before but your attempts at reassurance through small touches did no help to soothe the Zoldyck.

Later that night his hand would rest gently against your cheek as the light in your eyes dies, your face is wet with tears but a forgiving smile still rests kindly on your face. You're already gone. He can feel it. Despite this he holds you against him late into the night, only letting go when he can no longer bear to see you in such a state. His eyes stay downcast as he refuses to look up at the state the sky is in, not wanting to face the fact that the wetness of his cheeks could be from anything other than the weather. He sends one message before putting his phone away with shaking hands. Yet another job is done.

[kaladinisntwhite]

it helps to have been here in the fandom since before these wobs existed! much easier to add them one at a time as they got asked. there's definitely been a slowdown in past years on people asking the cosmere race questions/brandon answering them, since we now have a pretty clear idea of what their appearances are roughly meant to be, but i'm pleased to have a backlog that works as an archive for reference now.

after all this time with this blog, and five years later i'm just seeing @botanicaxu made a really good summary post of most accumulated words of brandon re rosharan races. i'll throw up some of the links i've missed so they're accessible here in bite-sized pieces as well

https://www.17thshard.com/forum/topic/55723-human-races-on-roshar-a-brief-guide-ver10/

[raggaraddy]

Bus Stop

Summary: Having decided to leave Namjoon, you get as far as the bus stop before everything starts to unravel.

Trigger warning: Emotional manipulation

Namjoon

Yandere! Namjoon Alpha!Namjoon

It was all becoming too much. It had only been 6 months, but you noticed how entangled your life had become with Namjoons. You had once been so independent, but now everything from your job, your friends, your home, all of it was centred around him. Of course, boyfriends and girlfriends become a part of the other's life, but not like this. You'd never had any relationship like this before.

You'd felt like this for a few weeks, slowly noticing more and more how intertwined you were becoming. But it was hard to say anything to him. You owed him so much. The only reason you weren't living on the street right now was because of him. But you couldn't take it anymore.

You knew if you sat down with him to talk it out, that you'd end up caving on all of your points. He has a way with words- with reason, that you just can seem to argue against.

So you decided to take the cowards' way out. You left a note on the kitchen counter while he was in the shower, stuffing your clothes in your suitcase, and hiking through town to the bus station. You weren't sure what you were going to do once you got back to the city, but you knew you needed to get there and try to begin again.

After 3/4 of an hour of waiting, you see the intercity bus arriving in the distance. Only to watch it ignore you completely and drive past you, leaving you in the dark.

Doubt was already starting to seep in. You can help but think you must be cursed. Without Namjoon you always seem to be overlooked and ignored, falling into bad luck and shitty circumstances.

Frustrated, you have no choice but to wait for the next one.

But Namjoon is quicker to find you than the bus is to arrive. He walks up, sitting on the bench beside you staring straight ahead.

"Where are you going?" He asks calmly. Your letter had explained that you needed to go back to the city to see if you could find yourself and start yourself again, but you guessed he just needs to hear it from your own mouth.

"I'm sorry Joon," You start, not able to build the courage to look at him. "I need to go back."

He sighs, stretching his neck. "I understand Y/n. I just want you to be happy." You can hear the sad acceptance in his voice. "I know you need to do this yourself. You need to rebuild your life. Be independent." He nods, biting his jaw, trying to keep himself composed.

You can't believe it. You were so sure that he would fight you on this. That he would argue for you to stay. A flood of relief overcomes you. You don't like to see him hurting, but you're so relieved that he understands.

"Thank you, Joon. Thank you for understanding." You scoot closer to him, putting a comforting hand on his arm. "I really appreciate everything you've done. But it's time for me to stop relying on you."

He nods, giving you a small comforting smile. "I know. I just worry about you Y/N. Can you tell me what your plan is at least?"

You don't have an answer to that. You struggled already so much last time when you lost your job and your apartment. The best you have come up with is that you have a friend or two who might still talk to you. You hope you can stay with one of them until you are earning money again.

"I don't really know," you admit, not wanting to reveal in full how shaky your plan of action is.

"Well, we still have," he looks at his watch, "38 minutes until the next intercity comes. Let me help you one last time, and we can talk it through." He suggests somberly.

You nod. He's very smart. Brainstorming with him is not a bad idea, and you're hoping if he sees your resolve it will satisfy his concern for you.

"I was thinking I would go to see my friend, Sarah. The last time I was let go, she said I could stay with her. I'll stay there a few weeks while I look for a new job."

He turns to you, crossing his legs, resting his knee on the bench. "Didn't Sarah just have a baby? Do you think she'll still have room for you?" He asks.

"Oh? I mean I think so." You nod, thinking for a moment. She only did have a two-bedroom apartment. And her husband wasn't too keen on the idea the first time around. "But if not, I'm sure Kevin or Bec wouldn't mind. So I think I'll be able to find somewhere to stay."

He thinks for a minute. "Kevin's the guy that was always hitting on you when he drinks?" He tilts his head to the side. "Do you think it's a good idea to stay with him? He might expect something in return. And Rebecca only has a studio apartment, right? You didn't find a job after nearly 3 months. Would she let you stay with her that long?"

His memory always astounds you. He remembers everything you ever tell him.

The more he questions you, the more uncertain you feel about how much you can rely on these people. You burnt so many bridges when you left, and you're not even sure if your relationships with them are free from scorches either. You'd messaged all of them in the last week and hadn't received any replies yet.

You only have enough money saved to stay a week or two in a motel and then you'd be stranded. And there is no way you would or could reach out to your family for help.

Anxiety is starting to set in as your optimism slips.

"I'm sorry Y/n. I just want you to be safe." He takes hold of your hand, seeing the reservation in your eyes.

You both sit quietly a few minutes more. You're thinking up and down your contact book of people that you might be able to get help from. Your concentration breaking every few thoughts to chastise yourself. How could you have been so stupid as to ruin so many relationships in such a short period of time?

"I have a compromise." Namjoon interrupts the silence. "We both know your intentions. We know you need to leave and start your life over. But right at this moment, you're missing a few of the tools to do that. Every beginning needs preparation. So come back, temporarily, and save up so you can support yourself. Reconnect with your friends, start talking with your business connections again. Then when you're prepared you can go back to the city certain you'll succeed. I'll even help you find a new job and a new apartment. Or I can completely stay out of it. Your choice." He smiles reassuringly.

"I-" You trail off, not sure how to refute such a reasonable plan. Or if you even want to.

"What's the alternative Y/n? I can't stand the idea of you ending up alone with nothing and no one. I need to know you're going to be safe. You owe me that much." He pleads with concern in his eyes.

You sigh lightly. He's right. And once again he's being so selfless. How can you refuse?

Nodding, you smile softly, feeling somehow both relieved and defeated at the same time. "Yeah, okay."

Smiling a bit wider, his shoulders release and he sits easier. He stands, holding his hand down for you, taking your suitcase in the other. "Come on, let's go home."

[jademakean]

Clouded Sea

JJ Maybank x Routledge!Reader

Warnings: Death, Thalassophobia.

Not edited

･*:༅｡.

It had been a while since your brother’s disappearance. You don't recollect how you reacted to the newfound information, in the beginning, your overwhelmed mind blocking out the details. What you do remember is how you spent days in your room mourning until you snapped out of your trance.

Just because they didn't find the boat doesn't mean they aren't alive.

It's John B, he knows how to get out of difficult situations.

He's okay

Of course, your slight change in attitude received attention from unwanted locals, you seemed more eager to leave the house, you didn't cry anytime you came back to the Routledge house, there weren't dark circles under your eyes anymore and it wasn't too long before they understood what you began speculating.

Delusion ran in the family

The pogues were the ones to understood your situation the quickest. On the rare location, John Bs name was mentioned, you spoke of him as though he were still alive. Barely phased by the fact that your brother wasn't around anymore. They also noticed how you'd run off right home to check the mail after hanging out with them.

At that point they began to pity you, believing that you were in denial and becoming obsessed-which you were- they discussed it amongst themselves trying to finds ways to bring you back to reality.

JJ was a different story, he became more distant and quiet. Mostly hanging at his house with his god-awful father. Doing his best at ignoring you because you'd just remind him of his second greatest loss.

As time went on you got some clarity on your surroundings. JJ behavior mostly.

You weren't sure how to approach him at first, he must be having his own battles that didn't need to be brought up, maybe he'd shut you out even more if you tried to ask him how he felt. So you decided to be casual.

You remembered how you had asked him to teach you how to surf before John Bs disappearance. You never learned how  because of your fear of the ocean, and it had gotten worse due to this past event. 

Sweat began to gather on your forehead due to the blazing sun up above. You readjusted you loose shirt, hiding your plain bathing suit. You knocked on the metal door, nervously waiting for who you were looking for and as you were about to knock a second time, a very tired JJ appeared with squinted eyes as the light hit his face.

The air left your lungs momentarily. You hadn't seen his face in a long while but he was here now, in front of you.

You snapped put of it when he whispered your name "What are you doing here?"

Taking a deep inhale, you smiled charmingly. “I came over to get you. You promised me you'd teach me how to surf last year, remember?” It was your fault for holding the plans back for so long, the thought of swimming above water clouded with sand was terrifying to you.

You walked past him, grabbing the beach towel on the floor and some sunscreen. “Right now?”

You answered with a smile “Of course! Better sooner than later. I'm tired of holding our plans off, we should just get it done and over with.”

“That's not what I mean.”

You stopped rummaging through the towels. It was easy to tell my the sound of his voice that he was still struggling immensely, it was also laced with confusion on how you aren't in the state of mind he is now.

“There are barely any waves today. I checked and there aren't many people either, it might be because it's a Wednesday.” You changed the attention the topic was directed to smoothly

“Y/n..”

You interrupted him by grabbing his hand, leading him to where his surfboard was abandoned for these past weeks. “Lets go, the sun is about to set.”

As you previously mentioned moments before, the sea was still. The sun warmed up everything beneath it, almost making you excited to get in the chill water.

Once you reached the shore line JJ began making little mountain of sand beside you “What are you doing?”

“You have to practice on sand before trying the real thing." He sighed.

“Actually-” you caught his eyes “-I was thinking that maybe you could help me get more comfortable with being in the water? I feel like that's the overall most basic step, you know?” You laughed lightly trying to cover up the anxiety spiralling in your head.

And thats what happened for the next few days. You started off small, allowing the water to reach your knees then moved on to mid thigh, and that alone lasted about 20 minutes. However, you didn't mind. You were able to talk to JJ more, which was hard.

It seemed like there was something on his mind that was one fake smile away from being revealed.

You both began meeting by the beach at 4:P.M, you'd stay for a few hours before he'd start help u balance yourself on the pile of sand with his surfboard.

It was all going well. You were always a quick learner when you got excited over something. JJ on the other hand seemed to become slightly closed off, like the only thing set on his mind was to teach you surf and nothing more. Limeted physical contact, no unessesary comments, no jokes.

Oh, how much you missed jokes. You hadn't heard one from him since your brother's disappearance. Your hopes of peeping one from him was slowly dimming away.

"Alrighty! I think I'm ready to sit on the board, maybe go farther out this time. A two in one." You smiled. While pulling down your shorts you decided to keep your shirt on. You excitedly took JJ's hand before guiding him to shore.

The water was cold, as usual, but you didn't feel as hesitant to enter it like before. It was an improvement that you were glad to notice.

Since you had a later shift at work it was already 7:50 P.M and the sun was starting to set, making the sky was a beautiful mixture of gold and blue.

You snapped out of your trance once you felt JJ's hands on your waist.

You were suddenly flustered by his action, and even though he was just helping you get on the board, he hadn't been very physical with you those past days. His a action was simply unexpected.

"Thank you." You said sitting up straight.

There was complete silence between the both of you. The only sounds heard was the waves clashing together gracefully, peoples distant voices and seagulls flying over their heads. This was the normal routine between the two of you, no talking, just the patiently waiting for your fear to disintegrate into ashes until you're able to swim without a care in the world, just like all the Pogues.

You missed them, truly.

There weren't anymore meatups at the Chateau or watching them surfing from your spot in the sand, sunbathing while drinking fresh juice.

"Do ya want to make plans with the gang? We could eat dinner at the diner, and maybe sleepover my hous-"

"What is wrong with you."

JJ interrupted you with a harsh tone, causing your smile to falter. "What do you mean?" You asked, calmly adjusting your body so you could sit with both of your legs on one side of the board.

"You know exactly what I mean." He looked into your eyes this time. And it's now that you have no choice but to look at his face that you notice the dark undereyes, dry lips and messy hair.

He wasn't taking proper care of himself, he probably couldn't if he tried. It was obvious your brother's disappearance took a toll on him. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" You asked, slightly afraid of his answer.

"How are you so okay with everything. I remember when you were locked in your room for weeks on end, and one day you just- came out. I didn't even see you and from what I heard it seemed impossible to be true. But then you just showed up at my door with no warning, with this big smile on your face and- I don't understand. He's your brother." His tone became more exasperated as he let out all the words that had been running through his mind.

"JJ, I'm not gonna stay sad all summer just because John be isn't here. I'm sure he wants me to do what makes me happy and keep taking care of myself. Plus, he's-"

"Stop talking about him as if he's alive!" JJ interrupted once again "He's dead, don't you understand? He's not coming back, or gonna send you some letter. He's dead."

His harsh tone made you feel as though he was purposely trying to hurt you. The worst part is that that's not the case. He's trying to make you see what he sees. "He's not dead."

There was a slight pause, he looked at you as if you were crazy.

"He's not. There's no body, so until I see one he's not dead. He's smart. He's got Sarah, they got away from the police and are probably in some island enjoying themselves."

"You've gotten comeplety insane! Do you hear yourself? You sound exactly like him when your dad disappeared, and you know damn well how that went."

His hurtful words ignited anxiety within your heart, making it feel heavy and sensitive. You were starting to feel too much and you didn't know how to stop it.

"I know he's alive! You'll see. He's gonna send some sort of signal, ofcourse we couldn't just show up out of nowhere when the police is looking for him. Since when does a disappearance automatically mean they died?"

JJ's eyes darkened, he was done with this game. He had to witness JJ obsess over his dad's disappearance only for him to be hit with utter disappointmen, he wasn't gonna allow the same to happen to you. "Face it. Your brother's dead, there's nothing you can do to change that."

His words hit you like a wave, his harshness making the agonizing emotion worse than ever thought possible.

It was so hard to keep hoping. It was exhausting.

"I don't wanna be alone"

Your words came out quiet and shaky. Once JJ looked back at you he took notice of the fact that your eyes were casted down, glossy and relaxed to the point where it seemed as though there was no emotion behind them.

The thought of not being able to hug your brother again- not having anymore long converstation about your future or simply seeing him from afar as he tried to outsurf JJ- was a thought that you refused to accept. However, you had begun douphting yourself and JJ finally saw through that crack.

His tense shoulders dropped, guilt sinking in knowing you were hiding the way you truly felt deep down.

"He's not dead, okay?"

JJ gazed at your expression swallowing the shame building up your throat before nodding his head. “You're right, he's not dead.”

He slowly approached you and got between your legs, wrapping his arms around you. “He's not dead.” You collapsed against him, resting your cheek against his collarbone.

Teardrops fell onto his golden skin, the feeling resulted in a shiver, running through his body as he hugged you tighter.

John Bs disappearance was harsh on everyone who truly knew him, and some learned how to hide it better than others. All that everyone slowly began understanding is that you were all one family and should watch out for each other.

“Do you wanna go grab a bite?”

You could almost laugh at his poor attempt to be casual, but you settled with a smile, pulling away from him while wiping your own tears with your arm.

JJ ran his thumb underneath your eye before kissing your forehead. “Come on, we can listen to Bob Marley on the way there if you want.” He snickered as he guided your surfboard towards the beachfront. You sighed, liking the feeling of the water moving underneath you as he pulled you to shore, observing the fish beneath you.

The sun had already set and all that was leftover of the sky was a pinkish-blue.

You could finally feel the sand beneath your feet. You watched as JJ walked off, grabbing his bag and shirt.

“Here.” He tossed over his top and your flip-flops as he slid in his. “Arent, you gonna be cold?” You asked knowing the shit that laid in your hands was the only one he had.

“What, would you prefer to walk around in your soaking wet shirt? Because I think that'd do more damage to your health than me going shirtless.” He teased with a raised brow.

You paused for a second allowing the realization that you are in fact soaking wet to sink in “Yeah you're right. Suffer.” Your approving sentence got a laugh from him.

You gaped at him. This was the first time you heard him laugh ever since go started talking to him again.

A smile made its way to your lips “Alright, I'm ready.” You stated after pulling a new shirt over your body. “My tapes are in the outside pocket.”

He pulled out the Bob Marley cassette from the bag before sharing an earbud with you. You accepted, untying your dry hair and finally setting it free.

The walk was peaceful, a comfortable silence falling over the both of you. The smell of pinewood from the trees was calming as you walked past the forestry area of the island.

You and JJ would always use this path after a beach day with the pogues. You would separate yourselves from the group so you could discuss about his job, home life, aspirations. Those were all things he never felt very safe discussing about with anyone but you. John B knew, but they didn't have the sort of relationship where they could switch to sensitive topics easily.

JJ liked how listened. You didn't look at him while he talked about such things, knowing he would feel intimidated by your gaze. The way your body slightly turned to him to show that you were paying attention. Most of all how you communicated with him first. When discussing about his father, you would ask if he needed a listener, a solution, or comfort.

Most of the time he would ask for you to simply allow him to rant, however, there were many times where he would ask for you to comfort him, just so he could receive the soothing sensation of embracing you tightly.

During every hug you shared, we're mere seconds of pure relief, relief that there was someone out there who knows about every aspect of his life and is yet to view him as weak.

“I’m really glad you got me put of the house. I hadn't surfed ever since he disappeared.”

It was as if the path you were on gave him the courage to speak with confidence. “And I'm sorry I was so harsh on you. I didn't mean to. I've just been feeling so much and I got so frustrated when you didn't seem as miserable as I am, I should've never been so insensitive.”

You knew he had a hard time apologizing to people, it made him feel vulnerable and he wants to have the upper hand in every situation. He likes being in control to compensate for the how much of it he lacks at home.

You looked over at him before smiling. “I love you too, JJ.” You ruffled his hair playfully before hugging his side as you walked.

JJ returned your smile, grateful for the fact that you resorted to a light-hearted response instead of a heavy one.

Time passed quickly and before you knew if you had arrived at the Chateau. JJ took a deep breath, his nerves increasing. He hadn't seen any of them, just as he hadn't seen you during those long weeks. How would they react seeing him there, let alone seeing the both of you together with smiles on your faces.

You squeezed his hand gently. An encouraging gesture to give him some strength.

You led him inside, the yellowish lights contrasted the night sky beautifully and as you both sat around the wooden table, you removed the earbud from your ear, which prompted him to follow your actions.

“JJ?” You heard Kie from behind you. Once you turned to face her she looked as though a miracle just occurred before her eyes.

Before your brain could acknowledge she dropped her notepad and hugged you both with the strength of an amazonian. “I missed you guys.” she mumbled into your hair.

As you were about to respond you felt more weight on you “We missed you guys.”

You giggled, now aware that it was Pope who was crushing you.

It had been so long since you had all shared such a heartfelt embrace, and you weren't going to let each other go for a while. You were all family. No matter how far you are or how long you don't speak to each other. This is what a true family was, and soon enough you were all going to be together again, as one.

“We missed you too.”